No......I'm not talking about boobs or teeth.
At work the other day, we were discussing whether we had real Christmas trees, or artificial ones. One of the teachers who always has a real tree, and was marvelling at the smell and uniqueness of each tree they chose each year, and didn't I miss that!? Well, actually......NO! And I'll tell you why, as I know you're just DYING to know!
About 10 years ago, we had a real tree all proudly sitting in our family room. It was like the "perfect" tree!!! It was all full, and perfectly shaped. A tree I'm sure Martha would have approved of! I loved it! It smelled (and looked) amazing! The complete vision of Christmasness!!
About 3 days after the tree was decorated, hubby and I were out for the annual district Christmas dinner with his boss. Ben was home with a sitter. We were just getting served the appetizers, when hubby's cell phone rings, and it's Ben. "The Christmas tree tipped over!!!" Hubby tells them just to tip it back up and do the best they can..... not much we can do from there! After about 15 minutes, we call Ben to see if they managed, and they said they had it all under control. "Whew!" Well we "whewed" to soon, as 10 minutes later, Ben called again, saying it had fallen down yet again. Hubby again advised him just to do what they could.
We got home that night to find our tree of lovely, strategically leaning against the corner. Several of the kids' "keepsake" ornaments smashed, a big pool of yucky, tree water on the carpet, and needles everywhere!
First, hubby secured the tree by bolting the son of a bitch to the wall, and I began the long clean up process. Sopping up the water, picking up the glass, and attempting to put the ornaments back in place. My beautiful tree of lovely had gone from Martha, to Charlie Brown in 30 seconds. Hmmmph! Then I had the lovely task of vacuuming all the needles and tinsel and Christmas shit off the rugs! (Now keep in mind, this is at midnight on a work night.) The damn Hoover plugged up on me!!! 20 minutes later I was back in action. I was finally in bed by 1:00 am vowing that this was the last fucking REAL tree that would ever darken my doorstep again!!!!
And it was.
Posted by Bev on November 28, 2004 9:11 AM | Permalink
I prefer fakes because I HATE pine needles all over the floor, my cats would drink the water and if I want the pine smell THAT bad I'll bloody spray stuff all over the place.
We had fakes growing up as a child and it was my job to vacuum up the needles. Now my mom has a fake and so do we and I'm satisfied with that... no.. I'm HAPPY with that...
Posted by: rachel | November 28, 2004 11:12 AM
Damn, Bev, that SUCKS.
Posted by: Bekah | November 28, 2004 12:27 PM
I have had a fake tree since I was born, I prefer them. Real ones just give me allergies.
Posted by: Stefanie | November 28, 2004 12:58 PM
We use a fake tree too. It's huge, and actually has "simulated dead spots" on it, and a real wooden trunk. If you walked up and saw it you would swear it was real. No water though, and it doesn't make the nasty mess that real trees do! I'm with you on this one girl!! :o)
Posted by: Maria | November 29, 2004 5:51 AM
We had a real tree, once, when we were first married. It's been a fake one for a long time and I will never have a real one again. :)
Posted by: Sara | November 28, 2004 10:43 AM